Falling
by mattiesaurus
Summary: I felt like writing sadfic last night sorry, so short sadfic drabble. I'm leaving this marked is 'in progress' but I may post the second part/sequel as a separate story. TW: Depression and Suicide
1. Falling

"I'm tired, kitty."

The cat didn't care, cats never do, it just butted its head against Enma's hand and he reached out and stroked its ears absent-mindedly. He stood, quietly, petting the demanding animal for a few moments before looking over at it again and sighing.

"What should I do?"

The cat just jumped down from the bridge's handrail and trotted off. Enma watched it until it disappeared into the night.

It had been raining and the water was deep and fast flowing and the bridge it's self was fairly high up. He could just turn around and head home. He could take some pills so he could sleep and then get up and start the routine all over again. Go to school, get yelled at by Adelheid for being late, smile and laugh with Tsuna because he was too…

But honestly he didn't want to anymore. Even if he smiled and laughed, his heart ached and he felt empty. After the initial thrill of finally having friends outside his family had subsided all the usual hurt and sadness dropped back down on him like a soaking wet wool blanket. Even when he was genuinely having fun he could never quite crawl out from under it. He felt empty and sad at the same time. Or maybe he was sad because he felt empty. Or maybe it just didn't matter.

Enma pulled his phone out of his pocket and stared at it for a few minutes. The last text he had gotten was from three hours prior: a simple message from Adelheid reminding him to lock the door when he came home. It was a little past one in the morning. Tsuna was probably asleep by now. He tapped in the characters:

さ よ な ら

He vaguely hoped he wouldn't wake Tsuna up as he tapped he 'send' button. But at the same time there was a small part of him that hoped it would. He set his phone down on the concrete in the small space under the railing and slipped the chain that held his ring off over his head and set that on top of his phone. He jumped over the railing and stood on the small ledge, still holding onto the handrail to keep his balance.

He stared up at the sky for a few moments; a little disappointed he couldn't see many stars.

"Honestly, it's not like this is the worst of all the sins I've committed."

Enma let out a slow breath, closed his eyes, and let go of the railing, pushing himself forward slightly.

People say falling is a lot like flying. But Enma was in a unique position of being someone who was able to actually fly by his own power. And as he fell the one thought that had time to crystallize was:

"_This is nothing like flying. It's a lot more free."_


	2. Search for the Fallen

"Geeze I can't believe he skipped school again."

"It's been three days, aren't you worried?"

Adelheid shrugged slightly, "A little, but not especially, no. It's not like this will be the first time he's just decided to take off without a word. He won't talk about it so I won't ask."

"He's done this before?"

"Yeah, I think he just needs to be by himself for a while sometimes. I don't know what he does. I know one time he just upped and took the train to Venice and then came back like nothing happened and it was the most normal thing in the world." Adelheid waved her hand dismissively, "It's better to just let him have his space if he needs it, he'll be back by the end of the week. Honestly, it just pisses me off."

Tsuna stayed quiet for a bit after her reply. She knew Enma a lot longer then he had and if Adelheid wasn't worried then things were probably fine.

"Alright… Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow then. If you hear from Enma will you let me know?"

Adel rolled her eyes as she started walking away, "I don't get why you're so worried about him. But fine."

"Thanks." Tsuna watched as she left. She seemed pretty irritated; he couldn't tell if it was at himself or at Enma or a combination of the both of them.

He wasn't used to having friends just take off suddenly, the last time one of his friends had suddenly disappeared was when hadn't come back after being hit by the 10-year bazooka. An incident like that was the last thing Tsuna wanted. Tsuna sighed, even with Reborn at his back it was hard to focus on studying and he was glad for the short reprieve he got when his mom called.

"Tsukkun? Lambo says he wants beef stew tonight, is that okay with you and Reborn?"

"Yeah, that's fine."

He could hear Lambo crying in the background, but he couldn't make out what he was saying.

"Yes, yes, we'll get more juice in a minute." His mom's voice was a bit muffled, like she had her hand over the receiver, "Are you studying hard? Are there any sort of snacks you want me to pick up?"

"No, I'm okay."

"Alright. Work hard and I'll see you when we get home."

"Uh-huh, bye." He could still hear Lambo's insistent yelling and I-Pin finally telling him to be quiet when he hung up. He set his phone down and then picked it up again when he noticed the pop up alerting him he had a text. From Enma? He felt his stomach turn into a massive knot when he saw the content. And the date, it was from the night before he'd missed school for the first time. He suddenly felt a lot more worried then he had before.

He scrolled through the contacts in his phone and clicked on Adelheid's number. It rang a few times before she answered, she sounded pretty irritated, he had probably interrupted her studying.

"Adelheid…? Sorry for bothering you. I just… You said Enma never says anything when he leaves right?"

Tsuna heard her heave an irritated sigh.

"Yes. Now if you don't mind I have a test coming up, I need to study, and honestly I really don't _care_ about Enma's latest personal field trip."

She hung up before Tsuna could say anything else.

He stared at his phone, still trying to process Enma's message and what it meant.

"Tsuna?"

"Sorry, Reborn. I think I'm done studying for today."

"What's wrong?"

"I think… Something bad might have happened to Enma."

"What makes you say that?"

"It's just, the message I got was kind of strange. And, I don't know, I guess it's just a gut feeling."

Reborn was quiet for a moment, "Well, your intuition's never lead you wrong."

That more then anything else gave Tsuna a sinking feeling and he suddenly felt like throwing up. Reborn was right on that front, and that made him worry more then anything else.

"What should I do, Reborn?"

Tsuna yelped in surprise and pain when Reborn suddenly kicked him.

"Wh-what was that for?"

"What's the point of having allies if you're not going to make use of them?"

"Hunh?"

"You have three technological geniuses at your disposal, one of whom is only a few blocks away." Reborn handed Tsuna his phone, Shouichi's number already selected, "You know Enma at least had his phone when he disappeared, so you can at very least have someplace to start from."

"Oh… Right."

"It doesn't look like it'll be too hard to hack in. I won't be able to get an exact location, but I'll be able to tell you which tower it pinged off of, which'll give us an approximate location. Within about an eight kilometer radius."

"That's still a huge area…" Tsuna slumped back against his bed, looking like someone had just hit him in the stomach.

Shouichi had come over shortly after Tsuna had called and they were sitting on his floor. Shou tapped away at his keyboard and shrugged apologetically.

"It's the best I can do from an old text, sorry. Oop, hang on."

Tsuna immediately sat back up, "What is it?"

"It looks like the phone is actually currently in use. Which means so long as the line is in use long enough I should be able give you a near pinpoint location. At the moment they're about twelve kilometers north-east of here."

Tsuna jumped to his feet and grabbed his gloves and his headset off his desk, "Once I get close, can you guide me?"

Shou dug around in the large pocket of his backpack and pulled out his own headset, plugging it into his laptop and putting it on. He gave Tsuna a thumbs up, "You can count on me, Boss."

Tsuna nodded, swallowing a dying will pill and opening his bedroom window. He had one foot already on the sill when Shouichi spoke again and he turned to look at him. The expression on his face had turned a bit more serious again.

"Don't worry, we'll find him."

"… Yeah."

"If you turn right at the next street he should be about six meters a head of you."

"Got it!"

Tsuna had landed in the vicinity from where the signal from the GPS on Enma's phone was coming from and he was traveling by ground and getting more specific instructions from Shouichi. He frowned as he rounded the corner. He didn't see the distinct red of Enma's hair like he had been hoping to and his stomach started to form into a knot again. He slowed his pace a little, taking in every detail of all the people he passed.

Tsuna stopped in his tracks. He didn't recognize the man but he recognized the phone he was holding to his ear. The same case with the intricate designs of flowers and leaves Enma had doodled all over it with sharpie and the same stupid cat charm hanging from the bottom. He reached out and grabbed the phone with one hand and the man's shirt collar with the other.

"Where did you get this phone?"

"Wha-? What are you talking about, it's mine."

Tsuna's grip on the man's shirt tightened a little and his eyes narrowed, "No. I know this belongs to my friend, and he's _missing._ So I'm asking you to _please_ tell me the truth."

The man broke his gaze away from the dangerous look in Tsuna's eyes glancing around desperately for someone to help him. But it was an area of town where there wasn't a lot of traffic this late in the evening. Tsuna shook him a little.

"I asked you where!"

"I found it, I swear! It was under the railing on one of the bridge footpaths. You know, the real big one west of Namimori High. That's the truth, honest! There was even a ring with it. Real fancy and old looking."

Tsuna felt his stomach drop to the ground Enma would never leave that behind… would he?

"Where is it?"

"The ring? It creeped me out, like it was cursed or something, so I pawned it at a shop three blocks east of here. That's the whole truth, I swear on my life. Please just let me go."

Tsuna's hand dropped to his side and he took a step back and the man took off running.

"Shouichi, Reborn…"

"Yeah, we heard that." It was Reborn's voice that came through the headset, "It's best not to cause any fuss at a pawnshop. I'll contact someone to go and pick it up. You should come home for now."

"Y-yeah, okay." Tsuna's throat was tight from feeling like he was about to cry from frustration and his voice cracked a little when he replied, "I'll be there in a few…"


End file.
